Featured as a back-of-page article in the CSABC Quarterly Letter of September 2007
by Richard Peachey
Many creationists are familiar with Ken Ham's "Seven C's of History" — including Creation, Corruption (the Fall into sin), Catastrophe (the global Flood), Confusion (the tower of Babel), Christ (the Incarnation), Cross (the Crucifixion), and Consummation (the end of this age).
But recently, I've been thinking it would also be Easy Enough to Educe Eight E's of Evolution. My initial attempt to do this is given below. If anyone out there has the Energy and Expertise to Enhance, Enlarge or Elaborate on my Efforts, I would Especially Enjoy hearing from you. (E-mail me at email@example.com)
1. EXTREME EXTRAPOLATION: Evolutionists Enthusiastically Extrapolate far beyond the Explicit Empirical Evidence. Emboldened by Endless Epochs, Eras and Eons, they Escalate Ephemeral Eccentricities (such as millimeter-length changes in finch beaks) into Extensive Evolution.
2. EXTRAORDINARY EVIL: Evolution is Extraordinarily Evil in both its Essence and its Effects. It Erodes Ethics and Encourages Execrable Excesses. Evolutionists have Endorsed Eugenics, Euthanasia, and Extensive Extermination of Embryos.
3. ENTRENCHED ESTABLISHMENT: Evolutionists are an Entrenched Establishment, an Elitist Empire of Error-propagating Educators.
4. EVANGELISM EVISCERATED: As an Extremely Effective "Engine of atheism" (so Expressed by Eminent Evolutionist Will Provine), Evolution Endeavours to Eviscerate Evangelism.
5. EMBELLISHED "EVIDENCE": Ernst Haeckel's Embryological "Evidence" was Extremely Embellished and Exaggerated (as Expertly Exposed by English Embryologist Michael Richardson).
6. EVAPORATING EXAMPLES: Exciting Examples of Evolution Evaporate into the Ether when you Exhaustively Examine the Exact Events.
7. EGREGIOUS EXPLANATIONS: Evolutionists Employ Egregious Explanations of Emptiness Erupting Explosively into Everything in Existence; Energy-Exploiting Entities (i.e., Exquisitely Engineered living cells) Emerging from Erratic Encounters of Elementary molecules (Entirely in Enmity to Entropy); and Eubacteria (E.g., E. coli) Evolving through Endosymbiosis into Early Eukaryotes then Earthworms, Echinoderms, and Entomologists.
8. EMBARRASSING EPISODES: Evolutionists Experience Embarrassing Episodes Every so often (like "Archaeoraptor," the Feathered Fossil Fiasco), and Eventually, Everlasting Embarrassment as they Enter Eternity.